feeling-feeling kak ona

Assalamualaikum,

ko ada feeling-feeling kak ona??

aku tok kat rumah, malas nak ngaro lab. bukak la tv. kuar2 nagga single terbaru kak ona ku. happy. tangga, jgn sik tangga.



aihhh jujuh2 jak aik mata ku tuk. duhal kak ona feeling2 jak, bukan nya duhal nikah. ala2 pelamin anganku musnah lah ooo. paham ku perasaan nya koh (kenak aku indah pande paham ooo. mah nyawa ku kohhh)

Wassalam.

mek red indian kahhh

Assalamualaikum,

marek ada sorang miak spain baruk masok. kizkitza namanya.

oon: hi there, im shahrul, nice to meet you!

kiz: hello, nice to meet you too!

oon: you're from spain aren't you?

kiz: how do you know, am i that obvious?

oon: I could tell, after some time here. we have french, italian, spain and germans come and go, it is very distinct.

kiz: oic. so where are you from? wait. let me guess now.

kiz: mmm. you have tanned bronze skin, really black hair, high cheekbone and nice lean body. mmm i think you are native american. the red indians!

oon: no no, that's way too far, im not that exotic! I'm from Malaysia. the malays.

kiz: oo really, im sorry, i dunno how malaysian look like. well, you are my first malaysian friend then!

oon: and you are my fourth spanish friend!

kiz: but, you do look like red indian!

oon: i know, i know. i do look like taylor lautner of twilight right??? runnnnn.

kiz: mmm i dunno who that is. but the first time i saw you. I thought you look like pocahontas!

oon: .........

persis pocahontas katanya. mek pitam.

Wassalam.

groovy cina

Assalamualaikum,

juh kita bertandak groovy cina pagi khamis tok. ditujukan khas to kak egeh. urg tekgin everything korean.



aiihh apa ku mok juak make baju sleve bulu2 merpati, eyeliner kohl, lipgloss nude coral pia ooo. leh sik pak?? sak ati ku sidak tok koh, gik biak, gik kiut. jeles kuuu, terselap ku jaman2 aku gik bergetah marek. nektok ku nagga cermin, aihhh obvious ku dah kerturina, tumboh dah somet (aiii matilah bok tumboh somet). dolok marek, belukuk asam ku xda urg dpt celen, kalah kak nita. nektok, aihhh gugok2 dah susok ku nak oo.

sikpalah tok jaman sidaknya, zaman mek urg zaman dak nsync, destiny's child, wild orchid, dah berlalu, sikpalah, anyway yang lamak ttp jadi legend. sikda kak eton, sikdalah lady gaga, mena ndak?

lambat cerita sidak korea ya bertandak2 pia. so wannabe. oon n the geng lamak dah ngeluar album (haruskah oon umpama bonda ratu di tengah2 nak. errkk)

Wassalam.

jatoh chienta

Assalamualaikum,

yeerrrr. chemni nak madah oo. ku rasa ku jatoh chientaa aihhh. matilah kenak amok urg kuching. errkk.

chemm tok. pada masa2 summer ya tek nak. byk lah anak2 ikan dr perancis dtg berambeh kat lab mek urg. sidak praktikal lah. dlm 3 bulan pia. the european is very much different than the britons. mostly sidak tok slim2, anglo-exotic, ehh kira muka2 keluar majalah lah. mun nagga urg laki sidak, sak ati ku. mata kaler2, idong cuit2, bencikku koh, kenak ku sik pia. alu low self esteem mek eh. bencik mek.

anyway aku pun ada juak anak ikan, namanya pauline. nya kira attach under aku lah. mmm nya tok besa2 jak la, sikla kach ne (ada indah nada kecewa). anyway nak ku cerita tok tek.

ada miak french sorang tok. tengah ku molah experiment. tetiba nya mukak pintu. mek terpana....

OMG ya ampun, kach nya ompuan tok lam ati ku. nang kachhh. ya jak dpt ku madah, nya sik tinggi, sik juak rendah, sedang2 saja. tp nak mukanya, PERFECT! chemni nak madah oo, nang kachh laaa. few women jak dapat molah ku sentap pia, aishwarya rai, shania twain n laetitia casta. n kurasa nya tok eurasian, french campor pilipin kah, thailand kali kah. nang kach. kakya nya kakar french lok. OMG nang sexy alu.

aku molah kerja lab, tang salu jak meratinya. kali nya perasan kali nak oo. sikdalah ku nak nackle kah apa. just aku terkasima jak bah. ada indah rompuan muka kacak kedak ya, flawless. dah kak pia, nya sopan santun gik ya, sik kedak sidak french lain. just so u know, sidak french tok mostly keras ati, a bit degil, kedak sik pauline ya, mun maok katanya, katanya juak, nasib aku tok diva, nya setakat dayang2 jer.

anyway balit cerita nya tek, sikdalah niat aku nak nackle. tauk ku dirik ku koh, so not in my league. anyway suka bah, nagga urg kach nak. semua urg suka nagga urg kach nak. yerrr. kakya ngegeh lah ku coba mukak conversation tek

oon: hello, how are you? you're new here?

miak ya: yes i am, im estella from france

oon: oo nice name, im shahrul, call me sasha fierce. opps.

estella: nice to know you

oon: by the way, can i ask you something?

estella: sure, go ahead

oon: are you mix? asian perhaps?

estella: yes, its my grandmonther, she's originally from Malaysia

oon: omg omg omg, really? im from Malaysia!

estella: really, that's cool. but she passed away already, may grandfather work as an army long time ago in Malaysia. but i never been there. really wishes to.

oon: yes, you should, who knows, we may be related (matilah. terus ngakuk petunggai nak, dah sama kach bah, chemmm ni lahhh)

oon: bla bla bla... Malaysia truly asia... bla bla bla... Kuching truly paris... bla bla bla... Hopoh... indestrit, satok, kpg no 3... bla bla bla...

yahhh ya ujong nya tek, sik ku sangka, mok urg kpg sebandi kali nak oo. vangga juak lah aku koh. rindok lah aku. lekak pia rajinlah aku chit-chat ngannya. aku terus ada feeling2 sinar2 harapan. terusla aku imagine ngembak nya balit kuching, ngembak depan cik sar cik anah, imagine mek duak tas jinjang pelamin, nya make vera wang, aku make tom ford, imagine mek duak honeymoon, imagine mek duak ngembak anak, 2 laki, 2 ompuan. kacak la anak mek duak ooo. sorang mata biru, sorang mata ijo, sorang gigi tebik, sorang luguk tyra banks. aihhhh mah nyawa ku koh.

tapi nak. rupa2nya pauline madah nya dah engaged dah. terusla aku pose2 fauziah latiff. berlagu teratai layu di tasik madu katanya. yalah what do you aspect, urg kacak nak. haruslah dah dsunting org nak. ada ati aku tek. ptuihh. mok bf nya dak jude law, orlando bloom indah kali nak oo.

esok nya dah nak balit dah. sikpalah, ada juak kenangan bersama estella. berkwan biar seribu, berkasih biar satuu. sapaaa kasehnyaaa??? tatau. anyway klk mun aku gi paris ada lah tempat k berambeh. berkawan harusla ada motiff occayyy.

anyway nektok ku dah da chienta baru. i think i fall for cheryl cole now. kiyutt nya tokkkk.

Wassalam.

sabar ki, sabar

Assalamualaikum,

entri tok ada unsur2 sabotaj. larikkkk.

ku mukak lah facebook tek nak. nagga lah gamba2 sidak opis lamak berdiner segala. kakya terus ku tetiba rasa nak munoh dirik.

yaahhh rusak dah pak dukun lamak ku niggal nya lok. ki, kenak ko pia ki, aku tauk aku sikda, sik perlu kau lalu nak nait stage alu terus pose twiggy pia. matilahhh pech lub antapp.

Wassalam.

the oon wears prada

Assalamualaikum,

aokla, aokla. ku update la. pelik juak kitak urg tok. apalah nak ku kerepak mun sikda apa best nak di kerepak oo. perlu kah aku bersusei aku telanj gele2 lam rumah. oppss.

anyway ku cerita jak la, apa2 ku polah weekend tek. marek gi turun lah london. lamak dah eh ku sik turun koh. nang lamak. mmm sama ya jak, sik nya berubah. sik kedak kitak urg d Kuching cam2 jak shopping complex bukak, hotel air asia lah, sheraton lah, MBO. aoklah, kmk org ne ada ya, mek org ada Harrods jer. hehe. anyway reason turun london marek adalah nak jumpa kwn si azmil ya dtg london. n then nak ngeso juak si azmil shopping experience kat london. yahhh sik lamak fabulosity lah si azmil ya, mek dan nyucok jarum. ehehe.

ngegeh la mek duak tek walkabout kat westfield, harrods, selfridges n of koz, the place where i was born, bond street. matilah. sunggguhpun touch2, coba2, pulei2 n go jer. harus kenak jelin salesgirl, mek tak kisah, sungguh mek sik mampu meli kasut prada, tp mek kach. ko kach??! aihh mah nyawa ku kohh. anyway masa mek duak kuar prada tek nak, tetiba nemu someone famous, nemu menteri occay! sapa ko tauk??

BARRACK OBAMA!

hahaha kenak bulak! mek suka-mek suka. sikda bah mek nemu...

GORDON BROWN!

hahaha kenak bulak gik! mek suka-mek suka. aku nemu menteri malaysia jer. Nazri Aziz kah namanya, menteri nak anaknya tang rusak2 jak rupa ya eh tapi sik kach. errk. ku bersinggol bahu lah tek. mula2 ku sik kenal lah sapa. dlm ati ku tek. mmm sapalah nyatok ooo, tang pernah ku tangga jak. kakya baruk la si azmil madah, nazri aziz paduhal.

tetiba.

nazri aziz: hi oon! aihh lawanya kitak

oon: aihhh datok nazri kah? aihh chemni kitak kenal kamek?

nazri aziz: aiiih ber datok2 indah. sik mok ku ko bedatok2 indah. ko ingat aku kak pah, berdatok segala, panggil I abang naz jer

oon: oo benar, aiih malu mek eh. chem ni kitak kenal kamek tek??

nazri aziz: aihh oon, pelik kitak juak, kmk tok geng suro cik sar, sama mek duak selalu propah belakang mesjid, urg gago semayang, mek duak bergosip. voleyyy??

oon: aiihhh duehhh. pa mo kitak tok.

nazri aziz: lagikpun kitak kan pemos seantero, sapa lagik luguk, gigi tebik rasa dirik ben barnes kat kota london tok nak.

oon: tulah benar. malasku. mencikku koh

nazri aziz: sikda la on, mek guro2 manja jer. bah2 pa polah kitak masok prada tek? yerr ngegeh kau juak. sak jak d kuching kasut bata jadi idaman. opps.

oon: sikda bah bang naz, kmk tek suka jak nagga, coba2, mek tauk mek sik mampu. rindok bah, ngegeh2

nazri aziz: tedah nya, jom masok, ko pilih jak apa ko mok, tok bang naz chia. saffiano,? tessuto?

oon: aihhh bang naz, you speak prada?

nazri aziz: apa ko pikir! ko ingat ko sorang fabulosity? sungguh mek speak prada, mek sik bongkak, mek speak juak pallas, bata, waima juke box. matilahhh.

oon: errk. sikpa bah bang naz. sik perlu lah kitak speedo kmk. sik mok kmk terhutang budi klk. sikpalah. mun kmk maok kmk beli dikpun

nazri aziz: ehhhh sik ngapa, kmk ikhlas tok, bapakko selalu nulong aku bah, berapa kali dah moto kmk rusak d bikik nya, servis moto kmk lah, nukar dak minyak itam segala. lagikpun iboh ko nak eksen, padah jak ko nang maok nak??

oon: (terus pose2 vanida imran) mmmm. yerla, i nak yang tu jerr.

nazri aziz: kan senang cerita, pose2 manjak indah ko sia. dah dah, ambik tok, this moccasins is so in right now. melerts ko balit kuching kelak. mmg urg kampong no 3 bersusei.

nazri aziz: nah ambik 5K pound tok, beli lah ko papa, chanel k mak koh, hermes k bapak koh, miu miu k adik koh, dak adik-kakak, kwn2 lain belilah papa, emporio armani, ralph lauren kah

oon: aihh ney cukup 5K pakei sidak2 tok, tambah kit oo. cokot kitak juak.

nazri aziz: aihhhh yaahh kuar dah true colors materialistik fasha sanda ko nak. nah ambik tok 20K.

oon: ya baruk, nang baik budi kitak tok, mak seh bang naz, semoga kitak panjang umor, murah rejeki, ada rejeki lebih, beri lagi

nazri aziz: malaskuuu. dahla-dahla. aku gik nak shopping tok. kim salam dak cik sar, cik anah, adik kakak d kuching k.

nazri aziz: btw, coba gunting gik rambut ya. cik sar selalu bersadu ngan aku bingong ati ngan anak nya berambut panjang persis taylor swift. bingong rasa ati urang tua koh, takut nya kau tangda pande bercuk bul mang indah koh. guntin gik ehhh. kacak la sa ko tek.

oon: aoklahhh

aihhh nakkah best mun benar oooo. tok nyingo aku pun sik. keji bang naz, nya sik taukkah aku ikon! sudehh. kitak org ya nyuruh ku update, nak kuar dah cita pebulak.

Wassalam.

bah bah ko bila gik?

Assalamualaikum,

k deng deng sekalian. entri tok ku tuju ngan geng2 single ladies, single guys sekalian, esp yang umor2 d ambang 20 an tok koh. sapaaaa?? tatauuu??. ku tauk mesti kitak urg tensen raya tok tek nak.

bila gik kitak nak nikah tek??
kitak tok ada gerek kah??
tangga kitak ya, anak udak ko pun dah bertunang, kitak bila gik??
coba nikah gik oo, rompuan sik bagus lambat gilak koh, turun saham.
coba nikah gik oo, urang laki sik bagus nikah lambat, kelak anak bok masok tadika, ko dah lasak segala.
ko tok bila nak nikah? sik da gerek kah? sayanggg muka kachaakk, mesti ko gay nak??

yahhh paham kitak urang nak konflik tok, paham ku perasaan kitak org koh, mana nak gik kecik baruk 20, 21, boh tua ija, blaja jak dolok! (this goes to u adik), tauk ada soalan2 hebat2 tok keluar, esp ari raya nak. urg tua, adik-kakak berjarah. yalah bukan juak nak madah sidak poret, sidak concern kali bah. tp dah nama jodoh blom sampe. ne lah nak molah nak oo, sapa sik mok nikah, best apa nikah, emmm lazatsss. oppss.

yalah dah kak raya tok, molah byk kita berpikir nak. nagga facebook geng2 sorang demi sorang meluk anak bini. jeles rasa ati nak ooo. tambah gik ditanyak soalan2 kedak ya. nyk ngan dirik kita, masih kah aku raya sorang tahun depan? will i meet someone next raya? susah juak ku nyawab soalan ya, tp ku cayak, setiap urg ada destiny nya masing2, dah tuhan cipta kita berpasang-pasang, just the matter dah jumpa kah sik, you just haven't met he/she yet. hayatilahhh n sing your heart out my dear.

Haven't Met You Yet
by Michael Buble

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Get So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Get So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It Right
And We'll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Mmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get

Oh You Know It'll All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

so kepada geng2 bachelor, bachelorette, bachelorina, sabarlah, ilek2 isap gam lok, pakey lok bulu mata pelsu. next raya, mun masih juak single, mun urang nanyak bila gik nak nikah, haruslah kitak urang jawab.

nasya aziz pun blom nikah, so how??

Wassalam.