Sunday, 4 July 2010

Dear kitak

Assalamualaikum,

Dear kitak,

harap kitak sehat di samping orang yang tersayang. sori. dah 6 bulan lebih kita sik ngelakar. yalah dah rasa lamak gilak, jadi rasa awkward kmk nak madah papa. bukan niat kmk nulis tok nak nyaik sapa2. lebih2 lagik kitak. kmk nulis tok nak madah rasa ati kmk, so that i can move on. get this over with. this may be wrong and you may not like it, but i find this comforting.

kita lamak dah kawan. kmk ingat gik kita rapat pun masa dah abis2 our uni days. masa uni days, kmk hanya nagga kitak dr jaoh, sayup2 gitu. kitak hot, so in. and every guys wanna be your friend. geng2 kmk org sapalah,  muka meher, muyas. so hi hi bye bye jak masa ya nak.

but kmk ingat gik first time kita keluar sama. 3-4 org gia rasa kmk. after that meeting, my friend madah kitak suka berkwan ngan kmk. lucu, lawak, ada jak idea. kitak sik sangkak kmk gia sbb dr jaoh kitak nagga kmk pendiam jak. yalah mun ramei2 gilak, kmk akan jadi a bit reserve. sik ngeluar true colors. anyway that starts it all.

start kita bekerja, kita pande rapat. not that gf, bf thing. just rapat. kmk rasa comfortable ngan kitak. and i hope you do feel the same. kmk rasa kmk boleh cerita apa2 dgn kitak.

dlm 5 tahun kita berkwn cam2 berlaku. tp kita tetap berkawan nak. friends come and go tapi kitak masih juak ada. masing2 kita bercerita love life masing2. lom gik masok cerita kmk maduk kitak lah (read: dolphin. sampe kinek tok, mun mek ngingat cerita ya, kmk senyum sorang). sorang bersaduk gerek sorang. tp honestly mek madah benalah. mun kitak bercerita pasal gerek kitak kah apakah. kmk pande rasa jeles indah. siklah jeles bena2. ala2 jeles 10 % gitulah. masa ya kmk sik terpikir pun  akan jadi something between us. na’alah2 inses nak. ndakku pande.

and then kmk dpt offer kerja baru, 2007. so kmk terpaksa transfer btu. dlm semua kwn2 kmk kitak jak yang kmk rasa melarang bena2 kmk accept offer ya. nang alu meradang nak kmk pindah bintulu. tp apa boleh buat. kmk kenak pergi juak. i have to do something with my career, with my life.

masa kmk d btu. to tell you honestly. dah kita jaoh. kmk pande rasa lain ngan kitak. pande rasa suk indah. maybe jaoh kali nak. kmk rasa rindu as bestfriend kali bah.

kakya kmk dapt offer nyambong belajar d UK tok. 3 tahun bukan masa yang sekejap nak. anyway kmk tepaksa fly juak. my first year, you cannot imagine how lonely i was. sunyek gilak2. mala jak ngansa, meroi ngan dik pun. the first 2 months dah rasa nak balit.

and that when i start thinking more of our relationship. kita salu chat. so stat sia lah dah kuch2 hota hey rasa kmk. kmk heran kmk sik pernah terfikir before tok. dah kmk pikir benar. this could work. kmk rasa kitak terimak kmk seadanya. yalah kmk bukan cam urg laki lain. sidak lain macho, cool, pande bertukang. kmk tok, boh kata main bol, nang sik penauk, paduhal maradonna tek main pake argentina dolok marek. kmk ingat itali. voleyy. yalah dah bukan jiwa kmk ke sia. ne lah nak molah nak.

actually kwn lain byk madah ngan kmk.

“kenak ko sik couple ngan nya jak, ngenak bah kitak duak”

“eh ndak ku pande, dah rasa adik beradik mek duak, inses!”

tp dah kmk di oversea tok. dah kmk rasa jaoh ngan kitak. lain dah rasa.

so dgn sikda rasa malu nya kmk proposed

oon: i need to tell you something

kitak: what deng?

oon: this is really important, i don't want to mess thing up

kitak: kmk rasa kmk tauk apa kitak nak padah, better kitak pikir bena2 lok sebelum kitak madah, sebelum anything happen

oon: kmk dah pikir bena2, kmk rasa kmk nak madah juak, kmk sik kisah kitak ok kah sik, mun sik ok, sik apa. kmk ok jak

kitak: ok padah lah

oon: why don't we give it a go

kitak: mmmmm. ok lets do it.

oon: that’s great

kitak: upgrade lah kinek tok. iboh ada rasa awkward lagik k

oon: of koz, thanx deng

kitak: sigek jak pintak kmk. iboh padah sapa2 dolok. keep it between us jak k

oon: yes, whatever you say dear

kitak ingat sik video clip tok.

if you love someone, just say it, right there, out loud

otherwise, the moment just passes you by

that is the reason i give it a go. when i think about it. i do love you. more than a friend.

n lekak ya, friendship and love bloom. sik sangkak, my girlfriend would be my girlfriend. rindok kmk masa ya. hati berbunga. wpun kitak madah iboh padh urg. tp kmk gago juak bersusei ngan urg lain. ngan kwn kmk sit0k. boh riso, sidak sik kenal pun kitak.

i like those feeling. rasa cam mun rasa tensi2, ada kawan yg boleh telepon n bercerita n will be comforting you. yalah kmk rasa adanya ktk. wpun jaoh kmk cayak this will work. n i really looking forward for our future together.

tapi, kmk sangkak cerita tok cerita cinta antara benua rupa nya drama natasya.

kmk rasa kitak makin berubah. cam lain dah. at some point. kitak sik kol kmk. kmk kol kitak sik kol balit. busy lah. cam2 alasan jak kitak berik. n then kitak cam bergaut jak mun berkelakar ngan kmk. tauk sik kitak masa ya mk mmg perlu kktak. kmk tenseion benar that time. cam2 lah pikir kmk. tp yalah  kmk jaoh. kmk nak molah apa nak. so biar jakla. sori mun kmk mala ngerepak. bercarik ngan kitak. that means i care. ya jaklah.

so sampe masa after setahun setangah kmk balit kuching. kmk  mmg looking forward nak jumpa ktak. kangen gitu.

tp sampe kmk d malaysia, kitak cam lain jak. kmk rasa kita duak cam sik begerek. kmk benar2 hampa masa kmk d malaysia. kitak cam sik looking forward nak jumpa kmk. kmk tauk ktak busy, tp kmk jarang balit bah. apa salah nya kitak mintak cuti nak iboh 5 hari, sehari la cukup. kitak sik pikir pun gia. weekend pun kitak sikda masa nak spend ngan kmk. aok km tauk ktak busy. tp kmk tok mintak sikit jak masa dari kitak.

kmk ingat gik ktk madah kmk, kmk ajak kitak keluar, date lah konok tek. terus kitak madah. boring kitak duak ajak. keluar ramei2 lah. kmk rasa ralat gilak. kmk nak spend masa ngan kitak , kitak rasa nak avoid kita duak keluar.

bena2 kmk madah kitak. dlm tempoh sebulan kmk d kuching. kmk benar2 kecik ati. kecik ati gilak2. tp kmk pendam jakla. sik ngapa oon, biar jak dolok. perasaaan ko ajak ya, too needy. yalah.

sampe lah 3 hari gik kmk nak balit UK. ngak 2 kali jak kitak duak jak keluar, ya pun bergaut n tiba2 ada urg lain join. mmmm. so dahla. kmk rasa. this will never work. this is not just my feeling. maybe kitak dah sik rasa apa yang kitak rasa dolok. dah berubah. at last kitak confront madah. kitak sik tauk gik dah camne rasa berbf. kitak madah sikda beza ada bf ngan sikda bf. kitak madah kmk sikda mun kitak perlu kmk.

dah kitak madah gia kmk paham n be a gentlemen about this. kmk paham, sebenarnya kitak dah sikda ati gik ngan kmk. tauk kmk bah. maybe kitak malu ngan kmk kali nak. ndak la kmk tauk.

during my 28th birthday. dlm kereta. jalan nait bukit sebelah church padang sentral, sebelah post opis.

oon : i thing we are done. what do you think

kitak: yalah, kmk rasa gia juak. kita raincheck jak dolok. klk kitak abis benar2 bok kita revisit agik our relationship

oon: ok lah if that what you say. kmk rasa kita duak move on our way jak dolok

kitak: yalah kmk rasa gia juak. tp ktk ok kah? kmk sik mok kitak sedih2. aritok birthday kitak bah.

oon: eh sikdalah. kmk ok bahh. senyum jak kmk tok koh deng.

what do you think? kitak ingat kmk ok kah masa ya. tuhan jak tauk rasa ati kmk. jaoh kmk di UK kangen nak jumpa kitak.

sebenarnya masa ya kmk harap. kitak madah iboh, kamek arap kitak madah we could try again. kamek harap kitak madah we could change. but instead. kitak aok juak.

n one little point i forget to tell you. actually kmk balit, plan kmk nak nunang kitak. tp sikpalah…

kmk sikdalah nak bencik kitak kah apa. kmk adult. boleh pikir. perasaan urg boleh berubah. so what can i do. sik leh dipaksa nak. kmk harap kitak happy jak. honestly.

sejak ya, sampe kinek tok kitak sik bekelakar lagik. sorry kmk sik nyaut a couple of your calls bulan2 yg lepas. sikpat dolok rasa kmk. sikpat dolok kmk ngr sora kitak. sori k, kmk sik sure kita msih sik boleh berkwn after that phase.

honestly kmk pikir. biar jak dolok. maybe klk kmk balit for good. terjalin kembali gitu nak. sikpalah oon. blom da jodoh masa tok. ne tauk klk nak.

tp sampe sia jaklah

adik kmk msg

adik: aih, nya dah tunang kah. aihhh bena kah bang?

oon: aihh apa??? ne mek tauk. mek sikda ngr papa pun?

adik: bukak kitak FB, gambarnya bertunang

oon: ooo bena duhal. mmm sikpalah. baguslah. dah sampe jodohnya bah

adik: aihh kmk pulang emo!!

bulak lah kmk madah kmk sik ngansa gik.

yalah, jodoh kitak sampe dolok. so kmk terimak jaklah. kitak pernah jadi bestfren kmk. kmk harus happy untuk ktk. gine2 pun. i may not know that guy. but my thought will always be with you. i wish both of you will be happy always. bena tok. (terus pose2 leona lewis berlagu happy)

Wassalam.

p/s: Hi Lisa Surihani, OK kmk dah officially single kinek tok.

31 comments:

AmirFX said...

Tedah... Cemne?! Mok scratch moto tunangnya?! yerdehhhh... Berani jak asa ati... Sabar jak k?!.... Lisa Surihani msh single time tok.. Aku yakin... Sebab aku mok ngaco nya juak.. haha...

Ray said...

Hmm..tedah nong..Pa boleh buat, c'est la vie bah. We cannot get what we want all d time nak..

Long distance relationship is indeed very hard. Sedang kamek yg sorang di Kch sorang di Melaya then telah bersama dlm 8 taun giya gik sikpat nak mempertahankan (waseeehh...) mahligai cinta itewww pun boleh runtuh, pa lagik mun cinta antara benua nak? Now I'm very cynical about long distance relationship tuk.

Oh well, there'll b someone better for you, ya janji Allah mun bab2 sikda jodoh tuk, so..ilek2 isap gam lok okehhh!!

[tErOmPaH bIrU] said...

sedehhh kisah ktk tok aieee :( tapi nang gialah nya kisah dunia tok.. hadapi jak lah dengan senyuman dan redhaaa.. sabar jak la Oon ohhh.. pasti ada hikmahnya kenak jadi gia. Sik mok sedeh2 gik k ;) soonest or later, semuanya akan baik-baik saja.. insyaallah :D

edzura said...

OMG! why these few days rami my boyfriends kembali single. Malam tadik sorang tepon bersaduk, ari Sabtu ya tek sorang and now u? Sabar jakla...she could be blind picking a stone over a diamond. sikpalah oon..blaja jak dolok. dah abis kelak bok kitak mikir hal jodoh. happy happy joy joy and i totally agree with you "if you love someone, just say it, right there, out loud otherwise, the moment just passes you by". Sik salah untuk meluahkan even sikda jadi pa-pa pun lepas ya nak.

just don't be sad ok. concentrate on your goal.

annetize said...

kt yg merancang tuhan yg menentukan. ehehe be strong! u'll find someone better =)

f.i.e.z.a said...

Look at the bright side bang oon.at least Tuhan merik ktk closure awl.at least belom ada papa.mun dh tunang gikla jaik ati.so don't give up to find ur true love k.mun bknnya meaning org lain la jodoh ktk bang n I'm sure she'll be the best one for u. :)

n i e z a said...

There will be someone for everyone & definitely someone special for u. :)

Lois Lane said...

Kamek indah nok rasa mok beraie maca post tok.

Sabar jaklah Bang Oon.

fazura ko sik mok?? said...

ermmmmm nyehh. yalah. sik tauk juak dah ginei ku nak madah. jodoh pertemuan ajal maut di tangan tuhan bah. cliche nak.

sabar jak. and be strong. insya allah mun dah ada jodoh ko kelak. sik ke sinei. sik dengan nya. dengan urang lain. amiiinnnnnnn.

Amni said...

aieee.... syahdu lok... kmk gik rasa terkilan bila kitak balit sebulan ya nya macam xda rasa papa... huhuhu... emo lu kmk.. Erk? Btw, all the best untuk apa2 jak..

Anonymous said...

sorry syg sbb molah ktk mcmtok..sedeh kmk baca..


aih?salah watak dimain kmk..hehe.tringat crita a lot like love.sabar k?(nang la senang jak madah sabar seranto2)semua yg tjadi ada hikmah.maybe nya good girl,but not good enough pakey ktk.

Kunduran said...

............................. *ya ajak komen aku*

sama2 kita carik jodoh... erkk said...

To anon: sekda nya main sayang2.. sidak ber'deng2 bah

tapi nk sarol, ada hikmahnya, cayaklah. insya Allah, ko akn jumpa juak jodoh kawu. teruskan berdo'a,berusaha dan bertawakal. (aku tok nasehat, mcmla udah nikah..muehehe)

tp mun kau dah mileh fasha sandha, fazura, lisa surihani, ndak ku berani. tinggi gilak taste kau tok. mata mok sepet2, tinggi2, pinggang kedak kesak, putih2, free hair, rambut panjang, aihh.. tang cun jak description aku lok! aih, aku kenal kah sapa 'kitak'?!?! jeng jeng jeng.

tapi nak tapi nak...
mun kita sayang urg ya Lillahi ta'ala, mun sik jadi nak, sik sakit gine2. sbb kita sayang nok atas ya lebih. *tgn pose ala2 nasyid*

eszfarieyna amieyza said...

aie...............( ya jk pat mek pdh)

tresville said...

ermm.. ermmmmm.. ...........

joynstar said...

Ow...jaik ati mek, sikhal. Jangan dikenang cerita yang sik menjadi. It's good that you decided to move on. There's always somebody for everyone. Ada hikmah kitak stay single, boleh concentrate study. PHD with Hons kan. Pulang kelak Dr depan nama. Biarlah...mungkin jodoh kitak ngan orang lain yang lebih baik. Always remember, Love chooses you, You can't choose love. Bila sampai jodoh kelak kitak akan faham perasaan ya, mungkin orang ya annoying and unbearable on the surface, tapi nya sayang kitak lebih dari nyawanya. You'll find that person. I wish you peace, we love you.

Asphyxia said...

Sabar Oon. Aih, ku rasa duak kali dah aku nyuroh sabar tok. Sigek entri perem gil ya nak? Bah, dah ya ajak mampuku padah Oon eh.

Sikpa Oon, akan datang jodohmu di lain waktu. Yerr...cam pandey neropong masa depan jak bunyi.

Anonymous said...

sedih nya ur love story... :(
hope ktk jumpa someone yang benar2 menghargai ktk..doa kmk untuk ktk..

joynstar said...

aie....mek mpun komen hilang! marah mek!

sikpa mek ulang gik. tabahkan hati kuatkan jiwa, ada hikmah kitak sik jadi ngan nya. supaya kitak dapat concentrate study. dak sik sia-sia kitak lamak di UK ya. mungkin simply because nya bukan jodoh kitak. one fine day akan ada seorang insan yang sungguh cun ngan personality kitak, yang memahami dan menerima serba-serbi.

tok ulangan words mek tek, LOVE CHOOSES YOU, YOU DON'T CHOOSE LOVE. it will just happen, sikda nolak sikda sikmauk. hati sikkan berbulak, mek doakan hari ya datang juak.

tabah k, love you.

Anonymous said...

Dear kitak,

Lamak kamek mikir nk reply ka sik. Tp memandangkan its not that hard to guess sapa yang dikelakar ktk ya, kmk reply jak la. I think I have the right to tell my side of story. Plus kmk sikda la blog famous mcm ktk nak..so mek numpang ruangan komen tok la.

Anyway, ktk cerita sik lengkap. Ada certain part yg ktk missing. Contohnya part bila ktk ajak mek bergerek for first time and second time, I said NO. Why? Because I know this thing will turn out to be like this someday. And because kmk cuma suka ktk setakat kwn jak bah. When your bestfriend keep asking over and over again plus tyk time birthday gik ya, patut ka kamek madah sik??? There s no harm in trying tapi mun mala kenak press, bila jwb phone ktk merajuk, kakya post benda pelik2 dlm blog, dont u think Ive had enough?

Right now kmk nang pissed off. Now that everything's out in the open let me start by saying this.. I dont care if u wanna write your whole life on your blog, but dont simply involve other people's personal life just to get hits! And to get sympathy. Next time learn to be a man and said anything straight to my face. Not answering my calls then posting shit on your blog seems like a coward to me. Mun sikmok jaga hati kamek pun, jaga hati parents kamek, adik kamek maca blog ktk. Jaga hati adik kamek. Camne rasa mun family ktk kenak anok??? Kita kenal lamak, parent ktk dah mcm family, now semua tok dah tarnish. Kita semua tukar jadi strangers balit. Bena sik?

Back to the story, I know you seems like the perfect BF to some of your readers, but trust me everyone has flaws. Semua urg kesian dgn ktk. Mun kamek sik tauk apa yg terjadi, kamek pun akan kesian sampe beraik mata. Oh ya..pahal mek pande berubah o..mungkin ka kerna lelaki lain. EKKKKK wrong. The answer is simple. Sebab ktk berubah dolok. Dr org laki yg turun pasar make baju Polo T and Bermuda pants berambut pendek kakya pande make seluar fit, jeans tek low cut, mun dudok nampak burit. Kakya make baju kecik, hanging konon2 tek ala2 Chris Martin. Ko ingat org di Emart kesah ka ko sepasang baju dgn Chris Martin??? Kakya obsessed dgn Leona Lewis. Trust me, part ya nang kmk inggar. As a guy, u should know better how to act like a normal guy. Sik perlu nak berlebih2 dalam kehidupan seharian. Tang sederhana jak. Kmk suka org yang simple sbb kita semua start dr org simple jak. Org biasa..then suddenly bila ktk di UK pande nak tukar jadi someone else yang totally different fr the original u. Kakya obsess dgn barangan mewah, maok make wallet Prada and so on. Tolongla hidup di dunia realiti. Benda2 mcm ya cuma artis jak mampu. Ataupun mun duit ko banyak. Tapi mun terkepung2 meli barang ya make duit biasiswa kerajaan, pls la..ada banyak gik benda lain penting lam dunia tok.

And I want to set one thing straight. There s no such thing as the other guy. Kamek kenal fiance mek since 3 years ago as friend of another friend. Kamek duak cuma rapat and went out on our first date on 17.1.2010. Plus kitak tek baruk officially single?? Kamek ingat bkn kita dah break time birthday ktk last year? Are u really that delusional????

And next time mun nak post benda2 yang mungkin menyakitkan hati org lain think twice. I know your parent and they didnt raise u to be like that. So now we're sooooo over as in no more friends, no more connections. Wish u all the lucks in the world and I definitely agree with what your friends said, you definitely deserve better than me. Kamek berdoa ktk success and I mean it. Take care.

Chow!

Anonymous said...

...

oon said...

dear uols,

thankx for the warm wish. actually i ok jak. sikdalah nak menonggeng gilak. saja jak feeling2 ngansa bah. jodoh maut semua ditangan tuhan. ada la hikmah. benar sik?? anyway thanx!

Anonymous said...

wow.. seriously.. y not bukak pekung suma orang?

to blog writer, someone who love you will appreciate you for whatever you are, the upside and the FLAW

to ms anon,
how cn u pissed off when u cant say no earlier, when he start to become someone you didnt like? y? if u have gut so much, y didnt u say no earlier?

instead of pointing finger, tangga lok dirik kdrik, and btw, the writer didnt point out how coward u are, how actually u wait supaya the writer yg mintak putus instead of you with the big damn gut (kononnya) say no to the relationship. the writer show how he have no idea of that you disliking him from point to point or so, as he project in his writing. oh wait, perhaps sbb u piss off dgn dirik kdirik, u merely have to point out nya mpun flaw.

thank God, u r human. with flaw too.

well, i hope u learn some lesson about yourself from this tragedy.

eh eh sebelum nak nganok saya, sila sedarkan dirik anda, i dont know you and the writer, and i dont care. i just dont like ur tone. and yes, im delusional talking about hidup ktkorg, and yes, everyone have the right to sympatize and piss off. xda orang melarang.

ciao~

p/s: did you even read his first paragraph???

sori mr blog writer, i just dont like her tone.

Anonymous said...

EHEYY..apa la salah org nak makey brg bjenama..bukan sik mayar zakat pun..duit kerajaan sik duit kerajaan,sultan malaysia gik sik madah papa.org mun nak nutup salah,nang macam2.dunia.btw,ingga nya jak ditauk.org lain tek sik pande ingga ka.duunak.

Anonymous said...

sukati la mun nya nk meli brg berjenama pakei duit biasiswa. nya yg bersusah payah molah research molah phd kenak anok segala..janji pulang ngembak phd, nya nak meli prada, lv sukati nya mpun!

dah nyakit hati urg, mukak segala dak pekung urg gik, sekda urg mujii!!

Rain Falls said...

oon, nangis mek baca tok....

Anonymous said...

dear ms. anon,

the writer didn't make a fool of you and didn't even tell who you are in his blog.

aku rasa sik ada punnya nak murok2 kau, njaik kau, mukak segala dak keburokan kau lam blog tok.

nya just want to share his feelings. apa dirasanya ngan kau. he's lonely out there. blog tok jak pakeynya release tension.

luckily he break off with you. you didn't deserve him.

Anonymous said...

to ray : tedah dgr crita kitak ray...kitak gik single ka? maok berkenalan sik? ;p

azizi said...

adoh. what's done, is done la.. jangan la sampe kelai. He have the right to tell his side of the story, and she have the right to tell her side. Yg penting, jangan sampe murok org la. btw "kitak", x nya njaik ktk. nya just nak meluah rasa dirik nya ajak yg frust. lagik pun banyak reader x tauk apa "kitak"

renxo said...

wow... sik tauk ku nak komen mcm nei... just that I never ever ever ever imagined that it will turn out to be like this.. nang sik pernah.. tp nak, I'm sure there are more left untold that what has been said in this blog from both side.. so don't skip to judgement.. what ever it is, I wish both of u all the best in life..

bak kata nenek ku... u are not ready to love.. until u r ready to let go..mencintai seseorang bukan beerti memilikinya, tp melihat nya bahagia....

lak ko nemu juak jodoh ko bah oon.. boh bgong.. aku gik maseh single hehehe... nok miak australia ya gik apa tah...hehehe..

p/s: sik ku gago nak komen anonym bah oon..

Badio Sulaiman said...

xpa.. nasib bait ko sik kenal sapa laki ya.. mun nya kawan bait dirik empun lagik tensen..