Saturday 28 February 2009

hanjeng 3

Assalamualaikum,

ada gik cita tok.

lately nak aku selalu bekal lunch koh. gigih juak bangun awal pagi ari bermasak ntah papa. bukan apa, jimat bah (padah jak cokot). yalah, mundak dolok makan kat uni jak, my feveret tuna panini. mmm ari2 makan ya lejuk juak, dahla mahal koh. so oleh kerana ku insap (kak nagga confession of a shopaholic.. jgn marah uolsss ku dah nagga! ktk org da?? sik adaaa!), elaun pun dah ampir nak abis, so kenak la jimatrina nak. huhu. so neway kali tok bukan cerita pasal ya.

nak di jadikan cerita, besa nya dah aku gigih berikat perut makan berbekal, so ari jemat adalah hari untuk hadiah diri sendiri occayyy. so hari jemat kak semayang jemat, ku makan la kat kedey kebab d sitok. mahal juak la, tp sikpa kdg2 mok reward dikpun juak nak (apakahh). so gigih la aku melahap kebab ya tek. oh nikmatnyaa, rasa berada di turki gtu.

tiba-tiba...

sedang asyik aku melahap tek nak, ujong mata ku nagga cam benda ngerayap kat tepi ku, kaler itam, besar juak, makin dekat... makin dekat ngan aku... aihhhh

asuk!!!! hanjeng!!!!!

matilahhhh. aku alu terkebil2 keruk gia jak. aku cam kenak hipnosis masa ya. terngagak for a split second. aku cam sentap! terpana! terkasima!

kakya bok ku sedar apa yg terjadi, asuk masok dr pintu terus meluru ke meja aku. urg rami masa ya, semua urg terkejut juak, sbb ya kedey islam, bego juak cdak tetiba ada asuk masok, aku mula panik! asuk ya nyelir2 lidah, nyium2 aku!

tanpa segan silu...

aku nait kerusi uolls!!

huhuhu tindakan refleks rasaku. tetiba sik ku duli ku urang kirik kanan. pas ya, ada gik pemos script sora kepit mariah carey kuar

help me! help me! (sambil tangan melambai-lambai d udara)

lamak juak asuk ya ngerumun meja aku. cdak yg mula2 sik panik, nagga aku drama2 queen segala terus setat panik juak, yg tukang masak tek pun kuar ngerapak, shooh2 katanya, tp sik berani dekat. asuk ya kelihatan agresif uollls. bukan nya kedak asuk paris hilton, scooby doo segala, asuk tok itam, bengis jak rupanya dahla tinggi, eiiiiii.

sik lamak kakya, bok lah tuannya datang, ko nagga semua urg ngerepak ngannya, patut juak kenak anok, sapa nyuruh sik masang tali, by law sik boleh kawasan public sik engkah tali rah asuk. mun aku jadi datok bandar, sikda can lah sidak tok nak nginang asuk, nginang tekurak jak kitak orangggg. malaskuuu.

kakya aku dah sikda mood nak makan, trauma. terus ku angkat. kakya senyum2 jak cdak nagga aku. bencik ku cita tok. dahlahh, sebulan ku sik dtg kedey tok agik kelak, suruh cdak lupak muka ku lok. bencikkkkuu! hanjenggg!!

Wassalam.

Wednesday 25 February 2009

donut 2

Assalamualaikum

oleh kerna aku sik puas ati, haruslah ngecek tenet, jumpa lah tok.

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts

Nutritional Information

For over 60 years, our customers have been enjoying Krispy Kreme doughnuts made from premium ingredients. In order to keep you as informed as we can, we have included nutritional information for our doughnuts on this site. However, please read the Nutrition Facts panel on our package label for the most up-to-date information on our products. All Krispy Kreme stores have nutritional information available so feel free to ask to see this information if you have any questions or concerns.

INGREDIENT INFORMATION

The only animal by-products used in our doughnuts are eggs (whites and yolks) and dairy products (including milk, butter, yogurt, whey, nonfat milk and nonfat whey). Our doughnuts are cooked in zero grams trans fat shortening (palm, soybean, and/or cottonseed and canola oil). All monoglycerides and diglycerides are vegetable based. Enzymes are also present. The lecithin we use is soy based. We also use wheat in our doughnuts, including bran, germ, gluten, starch and flour. Our products may contain allergens. To get further information about our products call us at 1-800-4KRISPY.

ARE KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS KOSHER?

All of our doughnuts are ingredient Kosher. Our mix plants in Winston-Salem, North Carolina and Effingham Illinois, where the mix is made have been certified Kosher. In addition, some of our stores, but not all, have been certified Kosher. To get a complete listing of our stores that have been Kosher certified please call us at 1800 4KRISPY.

mek suka! mek suka! klep-klep! mek suka! mek suka! sik perlu lah aku bersamak perut segala nak. heeeee. bah bah apa gik, juh dtg sitok mamam krispi kreme. oon spons. siyes tok. nyeemmm sekalsss!!!

Wassalam.krispy-kreme3

matilahhh. ndak la ku berani.

Tuesday 24 February 2009

donut

Assalamualaikum,

kitak org tauk sik donut krispy kreme. tedahh kitak urg sik tauk ooo, pernah merasa sik, mesti sik pernah oooo, aihh jaik la atiku ngenang, merasa donut mita jak kitak org. larikkkk.

anyway ku sukaaa gilak donut tok, nyemmmm sekalsss, dtg2 sitok, nagga kedey nya, alu sik uli aku mahal, nang nyaman, benar kata kak oprah, donut paling nyaman d dunia uolsss!!! oo tedah ktk org, palit dahi jak oo, ponan kelak kakakaka.

krispykreme

krispy-kreme-doughnut-flavors-for-phoenix

tapi nak, this morning aku nerimak emel tok...

Hi everyone,

This is an e-mail I personally sent to Krispy Kreme to clarify my concerns on what they use in there donuts, please see the comments in bold

Thanks,

Shareefa Fadhel

from Krispy Kreme Customer Experience <customer@krispykrem e.com> to Shareefa Fadhel <shareefa@gmail. com> Nov 6, 2008 at 8:00 PM

Dear Mrs. Fadhel,

Thank you for your email regarding our products..  We appreciate the opportunity to assist you.

Please be informed that at this time, Krispy Kreme products and stores are not Halal Certified. We apologize for the inconvenience this may cause you, and we will be sure to forward your feed back on to the appropriate personnel for their review. 

The Management Staff here at Krispy Kreme is always interested in customer feedback. Once again, thank you for your interest in Krispy Kreme.

Best regards,

Thomas Layer
Krispy Kreme Customer Experience

from Shareefa Fadhel <shareefa@gmail. com> to Krispy Kreme Customer Experience <customer@krispykreme.com> Nov 10, 2008 at 7:50 AM

Thank you Thomas,

My main concern was about your stores here in the Middle East ( Dubai , Kuwait , Bahrain .. ), they are a franchise I believe. Do they use the same ingredients, as I know your flavourings may contain alcohol, and the glaze and donuts may contain lard.

Please clarify this for me, thank you and appreciate your feedback.

Have a good day.

Mrs.Fadhel

from Krispy Kreme Customer Experience <customer@krispykreme.com> to Shareefa Fadhel <shareefa@gmail.com> Nov 11, 2008 at 1:59 AM

Dear Mrs. Fadhel,

Thank you for your email regarding nutritional information. We appreciate the opportunity to assist you.

All our stores use the same ingredients. We look forward to serving you again in the future.

Best regards,

Thomas Layer
Krispy Kreme Customer Experience

aihhhhh chemm ni tukkkk. tp nyemmmm aihhhh huhuhu.

Wassalam.

Saturday 21 February 2009

pintu

Assalamualaikum,

dalam sebuah rumah cottage ala2 hansel gretel, tinggal lah 5 org sahabat.

P (bukan nama sebenar) pemuda 30's asal greece, suka bermasak, very helpful, tp kadang2 grumpy, nang suka ngerepak.

A (bukan nama sebenar), berasal dr poland (adik kakak daria werb0wy uolls!) seorang gadis ting-tong, abu-abu nauzubillah, persona legally blonde.

S (bukan nama sebenar), berasal dr slovania, paling tua antara semua, peranan ala2 mak2 cinderella, thoughtful and warm. geng ngerepak P.

X (bukan nama sebenar), paling biak antara semua, asal dr china, sungguh pun biak, tp kenjar bergerek, with J, selalu sikda kat rumah, berambeh rumah J, polah apa?? tatau??

and finally there's O (bukan nama sebenar), the most gorjes, fabulos among all! yajak lah dpt ku madah.

Scene 1: Living room, Monday at 9 pm.

P: oooo sidak! aritok aku dtg nagga pintu sik berkunci! dengap2 jak terbukak. spa pun kerja tok! ku rasa mesti A!

S: ehh ko tok, tang alu jak nuduh A, ku taukla nya ting tong, tp siasat lah dolok. ne tauk X kah, nya ya pelupak juak

X: haruskahhh aku diseru, bukan aku okkayy, aku tdo umah J malam tadik.

P: ehhh nang ku rasa A pun kerja tok, xda urg lain. dolok nya juak lupak. tok dah kali keduak dah. tok ku nuggah nya!

P pun memanggil A

P: A! kau sik ngunci pintu rumah tok kah? aku balit nagga pintu dengap2 jak terbukak!

A: mmmm sori P. aku ng lupak, lain kali aku sik molah gik k.

P: ko sukati jak! mun barang ko kenak curi, brang aku kenak curi! sapa nak nganti! tok dah kali keduak ko sik ngunci pintu!

A: aok-aok, ku tauk, sori lah, tadik ku begaut bah, lagikpun sik da barang ilang nak, sik perlu nak moha rasa ku nakkk.

P: ne ku nak moha! nasib sik da benda ilang!

S: A, tok bukan pasal ilang sik ilang, tok pasal safety, mun ko kuar, coba cek agik pintu berkunci sik.

O: aoklah ko tok A. mun ada pak saok dtg tgh aku tdo pose2 mengairahkan, menggiurkan, matilah pecah selaput teruna! (sambil nyelin2 geram)

A: aoklah, sori adik-kakak.

Scene 2: Living room, Thursday at 9 pm

P: oo sidak! aritok aku dtg nagga pintu dengap2 agik, tok nyuruh ku manas tok! ne A ne!

P pun memanggil A

P: A! sitok kau! kenak pintu sik berkunci agik! brapa kali ku nak madah ngan kawu!

A: ehh bukan aku bah, aku sure, aku ada ngunci! ng bukan aku, aku sure, aku kompom, ng bukan aku sik ngunci nya.

S: A! aku tok dah ala manas juak ngan kau tok, bapa kali mek urg nak ngingat kau!

A: aihh bukan aku, ng bukan aku kali tok! kenak ktk org nuduh aku!

S: sapalah? X? X berambeh umah J! kau kah sik ngunci O?

O: mmmm siklah... mmmm aku da ngunci...

P: kmk org dah fed up ngan kau A! cobalah guna akal sikit! mun barang ilang, sapa nak nganti!

S: benar kata P ya.

O: aoklah... bena ya...

A: aihhh bukan aku! kenak ktk org nuduh aku camtok! bukan aku! bukan aku! tapi bukan akuuuuu (sambil berlagu kerispatih)

P: tang ngakuk jak sia! nang kau, xda urg lain gik!

S: mun benda kecik gtok ko lupak, dek dek gik benda besar. mok ko tok lupak juak basok berak nak!

O: aoklah... bena ya...

A: aihhh bukan aku aihhh huhuhu bukan aku huhu bukan huhu

P: sik ku rajin urg pebulak gtok, mun salah ngakuk jak! sak ati ku tok!

S: sik tauklah aku bila ko mok learn A.. kecewa ku ngan kau...

O: aoklah... bena ya...

A: bukan aku huhuhu bukan aku huhuhu bukan aku huhuhuu (sambil nangis2 berlari2 anak masok bilit)

P: merajuk! nangis! yalah tauknya! malas ku nak melayan agik!

S: aku pun sik tauk chemni nak ngajar adik ku ya.

O: aoklah... bena ya...

Tamat.

tetapi, di sebalik semua itu, hanya O yang tahu cerita sebenar, relitinya, O lah dalang semua ini. O lah yang lupa mengunci pintu tersebut. keji kan O itu.

disclaimer: cerita ini adalah rekaan penulis semata-mata. tiada kaitan dengan Pana, Anya, Sylvia, Xiran, Jill waima Oon. Jika ada kaitan, mungkin hanya kebetulan. larikkkkk.

Wassalam

RIMG0024 2

love you all! ampun A, ampun A

Monday 16 February 2009

phd

Assalamulalaikum,

Kawan ku nyk, kenak lah lamak tok ko makin slow berblogging. aihhhh. yalah koh, nang slow. actually nak madah aku busy, sik juak, ada juak masa ku ronda2 town. nak madah aku sik busy, gigih juak aku turun lab. sik tauklah. kadang2 idupan ku tok boringggg, sikda menarik nak diceritakan, lainlah kedak encik audio n encik onggon, blogger tegar, kekar, meletop. boleh sik ku hire kitak duak k update blog aku oo huhu. dahla aku tok ne lah pande nak superimpose2 segala koh. urg superimpose muka aku jadi model sunsuk, sukor sabar jak aku, aku nak counter attack, aku sik pande aihhh, make apa molah ya ooo mmm powerpoint kahh. matilah ting tong hin.

anyway aku rasa cam empty jak nektok. mmm actually aku suppose setat writing my first year viva report. tp sik setat2 gik. chemmm ni tukk. anyway apakah itu viva adik-adik??

ayati tasrip: (sambil gigih angkat tangan) oohh oon, kamek ada perodua viva kaler putih, mek suka, very the menjimatkan minyak. suka-suka. adakah itu maksudnya oon?? oon akan dihadiah kan perodua viva selepas habis first year?? hebatt!

tushee: sudah kau yati! kau very the bongok. yalah urg nyuruh belaja ngaji, ko eskep, main pok kedey tong hin, kan dah ting tong hin. kmk tauk oon, viva bermaksud lagu viva forever daripada spice girl bukan! oon akan molah show viva forever selepas tamat first year bukan? harus happening!!

oon: sudehhhhhh, sikpat selamat gik ktk duak tok!

viva or viva voce adalah perkataan bahasa latin yg bermaksud live voice iaitu oral presentation gtulah. so basically mun molah phd kat uni tok we have to undergo two major viva, first year viva and final year viva. xda kaitan viva puteh, viva forever waima viva la vida nyanyian coldplay. masa viva toklah kita defend kt pun work result, report, thesis, sama ada layak sik dpt phd.

first year viva actually menentukan kita layak sik jadi calon phd. actually, masa tok aku blom bergelar phd candidate, baruk research student sajorkk. mun dah berjaya lepas first year viva ya baruklah jadi phd candidate. kira cam candidate oscar uols! dlm first year viva, aku akan di interview oleh panel 3-4 org, tentang research aku la, so masa ya aku mestilah defend btol2. cdak akan nyk kenak aku molah research ntah papa tok. cdak akan discuss among themselves adakah aku layak in the running towards become america’s next top model. ehh salah, phd candidate.

yalah kohh, dah setat nebesrina dah aku tok, most probably first year viva aku on april, mun sik may huhuhu. chemm ni tukkkk. anyway kawan ku forward ngan aku benda tok. a reality indeed.

PhD Resolution

Before joining PhD:

  • I want to win the Nobel Prize
  • I want to win the Turing Award

First year of PhD:

  • I want to finish PhD in two years
  • I want to publish papers only in top tier conferences
  • I want to make ground-breaking research
  • I want to win the best PhD Thesis award

Second year of PhD:

  • I want to finish PhD in 5 years
  • I want a problem
  • Shall I change my advisor?

Third year of PhD:

  • I want a paper; I don't care which conference
  • Shall I change my topic?

Fourth year of PhD:

  • I want to finish PhD!
  • My industry-friends have two children by now. When will I get married?

Fifth year of PhD:

  • Why did I come here?
  • Why did I choose this advisor?
  • Why did I choose this topic?

Sixth year of PhD:

  • Someone give me a degree!
  • I want to leave this place — for ever
  • Let me leave

Seventh year of PhD:

  • People call me uncle
  • She waited and finally married someone else...
  • I don't want any degree. I just want to live peacefully!

OMG this is sooo scary, sungguh aku bok first year, aku dah rasa cam fourth year, chemm ni tukkkk.

Wassalam.

Tuesday 10 February 2009

slumdog millionaire

Assalamualaikum,

just a short one. you guys have to watch this movie! I repeat, you have to watch this! nang best. cayaklah kata aku. a feel good movie, happy ending. pelakon hebat, esp pelakon miak kecik nya. superb performance! abis cita tok, keluar panggung, kompom kitak org senyum2, kakya tang rasa nak chia urg makan jak hehe.

Im rooting this for oscar 2009. tp mun ktk org tetap juak mok nagga cicak man planet hitam sik lah aku nak melarang nakkk.

Wassalam.

Monday 9 February 2009

nebes

Assalamualaikum,

senin, kol 7 pagi. kenak mata ku tok pande tang sik mok tdo agik ooo. mundak waktu gtok lah ku maseh ngumpol taik mata, dahla ari sejok diluar ya tang best jang begoleng, main tikam bantal selimut, bergolong tas katil. tp cam sik ngantok jak ritok. kenak oo?

dah puas ku bergoleng, sik juak dapat tdo balit. aku angkat jakla, pikir ku tek, bagus ku mandik jak la, turun lab awal jak aku ritok. kedong sikpat tdo gik.

kol 9 sampe ku sampe lab. masok jamban, nagga cermin, masang lipbalm, nyisir rambut, nyisir bulu mangsu, kakya feeling2 prince caspian occayy.

tiba-tiba... a msg from mak hayam sofia:

come to my office now!

OMG! aiihhh pahal tukkk, nebesrina ku aihhhh, apa dah ku polah kali tukkk. eksperimen jalan, result semua dah anta, mmmm apaaaaa aiihhh chemm niii tukkk.

sik tentu rasa atiku. nasib juak aku dtg awal tek. mun aku masih tegeley2 d katil tek lagiklah mati. begegar sa nyawa ku nait tangga ke opis nya. berapa kali ndakkah selawat ku baca ku. aihhhh mak chemm ni tukkkk.

aku ketok bilit nya.

mak hayam sofia: come in!!

oon: hye sofia! pa chietaaa?

mak hayam sofia: apa senyum2! sitok koh! dudok sitok koh!

oon: aoklahhh

mak hayam sofia: ko takut! ko nebesrina!

oon: mmm kinda

mak hayam sofia: tok sebab kerja kau. aku n bob dah berbincang pasal tok.

oon: aihh kenak tekkkk??

mak hayam sofia: disebabkan prestasi kerja kau, kmk org terpaksa merik kau tok! mintak maap, kmk org terpaksa!

oon: aihhhh apaaa. huhuhu. sori mun kmk ada molah salah, kmk baruk belajar bah, mun kmk ada teranok kita kah lam blog, maap mak hayam, bukan apa sak kitak pemos bahh.

mak hayam sofia: sudehhhh, ko ingat aku tushee, sandi suzuki segala! aku sik perlu semua itteww!

oon: so, apa lah nak diberik kitak ya?? kitak nak merik kmk surat gagal phd kahhh???

mak hayam sofia: terimalahhhhh

oon: aihh apa tok..... aihh laptop!

mak hayam sofia: adik2 terimalah, disebabkan kegigihan adik2 membanting tulang, menampi padi, terimalah, bingkisan iniewww.

oon: ohhh tidak, adik2 sunggoh terharurina. oohh sungguh oon tidak menyangkarina!

mak hayam sofia: mak hayam cuma berharap adik2 akan lebih gigih di masa akan datang. mak hayam percaya suatu hari nanti adik2 juga akan menjadi hayam yang berjaya seperti mak!

oon: ooh mak hayam, oon tidak hanya akan menjadi spesies hayam seperti mak, oon akan jadi lebih hebat dari itu, oon akan jadi merak! peacock occayy!

mak hayam sofia: sudeehhhh, adik2 zaman sekarang memang tidak dapat diberi muka, lantas overshadow! simbah asid baru taww!

oon: ooppss sori mak hayam, gurau anak beranak hayam ok hehe.

ye! ye! aku ada laptop free! ye! ye!

Wassalam.

Thursday 5 February 2009

snow

Assalamualaikum,

and im telling you, im not going.....
no no no no way, no no no im living without you.....
i dont want to be free.....
and you! and you! and you! you're gonna love me.....

yahhhhh terimalahh... mula2 bukak tirai terus keluar jennifer hudson occayyyy!!

u miss me! i knoe you did! edehh senyumm lokkkk, hik hik. adik2, kakak2, ibuk2, bapak2 hampun lamak sik hupdate, mesti kehidupan kitak orang murung, gloomy, rasa nak ngantong dirik nak. keh keh keh. sikpa u havent seen the last of me, actually nak, aku sikpat hupdet bukan apa, laptop aku tok, malaskuuu tetipa dtg bulan, menopos kali, terpaksa format, tp oleh kerna aku butarina IT, format pun sik tauk, sesukahatirina jak nekan2, jadi pelik2 lah jadi, rasa nak tikam rah penjanrina jak, malasskuuuu. mmm rasa nak meli laptop baru jak, macbook kah, vaio oooo, lobaaaa

sepemergian aku, xdalah apa2 best berlaku, mmm turun snowrina jak, ko ada snow!! ko ada pose2 narnia!! ko ada molah snowdiva!! sik ada!! mek duak farah jak ada hahahaha. nang terok snow kali tok, belon sikpat terbang, keretapi sikpat jalan, jeraya licin, yalah nang sik pernah2 kedak tok kata sidak.

anyway nama kita tok urg kampung no 3 nak, kagum juakla nagga snow koh, tersengih2 jak, nagga salji jatuh ke bumi, teruslah aku feeling2 molah video klip winter sonata occayy (ketepi kau hazami!)

snow tek, mula2 setat ari senin ya tek, sampe2 uni nagga dah penoh jak kaler2 putih, nang kedak cita narnia kohh, teruslah aku pose2 prince caspian occayyy!! camne ku nak madah rasa snow oo, tang fluffy2 jak, nya sik kedak abc, laicikang segala, nya jaoh lembut gik, rasa nak jilat2 jak, mun sikda urg nagga, mmg dah masok lam mulut hehe. aku ingat aku sorang jak kejeron, rupa2 cek cek, omputeh tek kejeron juak, main tikam2 bola2 snow, aiihh ngerijik rasa nyawa nak nikam2 juak, tp sapa nak ku tikam ku oo, tedah aku sorang2 koh, tiba2 rasa terkenang tushee, zaiton sameon, nursheila amin segala, coba sidak ada sitok tek, dpt la mek urg main sama kohh. tedahh ku.

anyway, aku jalan jak ke uni. sungguh jeraya licin, ttp juak mok catwalk, tang kedak rasa skating jak, tiba-tiba...

paaaaapppp

matilahhhh, makkkk kmk gugokkkk, aihhhh malu kuuuu, aihhhh semua nagga aku. waaaaaaa. sabarjakla, aku angkat gik, ujong2 mataku nampak sidak tetak2, bencikku. aku jalan gik, tetiba...

paaaaapppp

makkkkk!!! kmk gugok agik aihhhh, tulahhh benar, bencikkuuu, i hate snow, aku bencik semua2 kaitan ngan snow, aku bencik snow white, aku bencik hazeline snow, aku bencikkk!!!

Wassalam.